Trump was never shy about his plans. He touted tariffs as if they were a mythical power other American presidents had been too timid to wield.
President Donald Trump riffs on ‘old fashioned term’ groceries
After announcing global tariffs, President Donald Trump riffed on the word “groceries,” calling it an “old fashioned” and “beautiful term.”
As U.S. stocks plummet and we barrel toward a likely self-imposed recession, as prices rise thanks to President Donald Trump’s ignorant and archaic obsession with tariffs and companies cut workers loose, I hope to hear Republicans ‒ the rich, the poor and the in-between ‒ applauding. Because this is exactly what they wanted.
Or at least I assume it is, since this is what they voted for by casting a ballot for the self-described Tariff Man.
Trump was never shy about his plans. He touted tariffs as if they were a mythical power other American presidents had been too timid to wield. He would wield them, he promised ‒ bigly.
Stocks tanking, rising prices and a global trade war? Thanks, Republicans!
And now here we are, on a Thursday in April, slapping a baffling array of tariffs ‒ seemingly created by throwing darts at numbers ‒ on allies and foes and even a few uninhabited islands.
The markets are cratering, and other countries are plotting their responses.
And from the allegedly stable genius president responsible for this economic suicide, this is what we heard Wednesday as he announced the tariffs: “An old-fashioned term that we use ‒ groceries. I used it on the campaign. It’s such an old-fashioned term, but a beautiful term. Groceries. It says a bag with different things in it.”
What? Your economic lives, your retirement accounts and your ability to put food (groceries!) on the table are being hijacked by a guy who seems to think we’ve never heard of “groceries.”
That’s a perfect window into the wildly outdated thinking behind Trump’s decision to impose tariffs not seen since the 1930 Smoot- Hawley Tariff Act, famed for its skillful exacerbation of the Great Depression.
Tariffs are not going to do what Trump tells you they will do
In the “Historical Highlights” on the U.S. Senate’s website, the 1930 tariff act is described as “among the most catastrophic acts in congressional history.”
So now we’re supposed to assume the guy who just discovered that groceries are a thing can use sweeping tariffs to make our lives better? Wait until he learns about the global supply chain, manufacturing automation and (gasp!) computers!
Part of the administration’s argument for starting a trade war with these tariffs boils down to this magical thinking: Tariffs will lead to a boom in U.S. manufacturing, which will return America to the glory days of the middle class having good-paying factory jobs.
That overlooks a number of significant issues.
Even if factories are built, ‘jobs would probably not follow’
Willy Shih, a professor of management practice in business administration at the Harvard Business School, recently told PBS that if you bring manufacturing from a lower-cost foreign country to our higher-cost country “you have to set up a factory and you have to hire the work force, and you have to train the work force and bring in your suppliers.
“What’s going to pay for it? Your product cost is going to be higher.”
Douglas Irwin, a trade expert at Dartmouth College, recently told Bloomberg radio that due to automation, even if factories returned to the United States, “jobs would probably not follow.”
The Trump administration is, simply put, operating ignorantly in a world that no longer exists.
Our economy is being intentionally smashed by lunkheads
Listen to the nonsense coming out of this administration that, at the risk of sounding repetitive, Republicans chose to put in power.
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick was on CNN Thursday and said this of Tariff Man Trump: “Let the dealmaker make his deals when and only if these countries can change everything about themselves, which I doubt they will.”
Again … what? The dealmaker will make his deals with the countries once they change everything about themselves, which they’re not going to do?
An American economy that was strong and the envy of the world a matter of months ago is being led off the cliff by a collection of wannabe robber barons and babbling, old-timey snake-oil salesmen.
Trump said he’d fix prices on Day 1. Now the line is, ‘Be patient.’
The Republican talking point seems to have shifted from “TRUMP WILL FIX FOOD PRICES AND EVERYTHING ELSE ON DAY 1!” to “THERE IS GOING TO BE PAIN FOR AMERICAN CONSUMERS BUT PLEASE BE PATIENT ‘CAUSE A GOLDEN AGE IS A-COMIN’!”
Lutnick promised on CNN that “a whole lot of growth” is coming “starting in the fourth quarter.”
We’re presently in the second quarter, and food prices remain high, and Trump campaigned on immediate relief and success. Also, if you’re buying what Lutnick is selling, I have some authentic designer merchandise I’d like to sell you at prices too good to believe.
Economic pain is coming, and Americans will soon see Trump’s folly
You are going to feel the pain of Trump’s tariffs. If you have a 401(k), you’re already feeling it ‒ a lot. Thanks to Trump’s evisceration of the federal workforce, layoffs in March were up 205% over the same month last year, the third-highest monthly total of all time.
Shortly after Trump’s “Liberation Day” tariffs hit, automaker Stellantis announced that it was idling plants and beginning temporary layoffs that will impact about 900 workers in Michigan and Indiana.
More will undoubtedly follow.
As Americans and the world began feeling the pain of his tariffs, Trump was scheduled to jet down to Miami on Thursday to attend a golf tournament being held on one of his courses. How Marie Antoinette of him.
But hey, this is what Republicans wanted, right? They voted for the Tariff Man. They voted for the guy who recently discovered groceries and his phalanx of billionaires who will now spend their days telling you to suck it up, endure a “little pain” and rest assured that everything will work out great.
That Golden Age is right around the corner, folks. And while you’re waiting, can I interest you in a pair of 100% real Nike sneakers for a price that will blow your mind?
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on Bluesky at @rexhuppke.bsky.social and on Facebook at facebook.com/RexIsAJerk
